


1993

by BlueSpider2, SociallyAwkwardFox



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 07:36:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20597096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSpider2/pseuds/BlueSpider2, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociallyAwkwardFox/pseuds/SociallyAwkwardFox
Summary: In 1993, Tony Stark meets Bucky Barnes and falls in love. Unfortunately, love is never simple.





	1993

**Author's Note:**

> Link to the [art](https://lesbianrdj.tumblr.com/post/187635967709/heres-my-entry-for-the-winteriron-reverse-bang).

**1991**

A knock echoed through the nearly empty house. It bounced off the expensive hardwood floors and elaborately decorated walls. The sound traveled through the foyer to the small sitting room full of pastel colored furniture and a massive ornate rug.

When another knock broke the silence, the young man draped across the coach in the sitting room begrudgingly rose. He dragged his feet across the floor as he made his way to the front door to prevent the person on the other side from knocking again. Upon opening the door, he found two men in neat suits with somber expressions on their faces.

“Can I help you?”

The taller of the two suited men took a small step closer to the door. “My name is Agent Fury. Your aunt, Peggy Carter, sent us to deliver news she would prefer to give you in person. It would be best to discuss this inside.”

“If my aunt sent you, then I’m sure she told you to bring identification to prove your identity. She taught me better than to let strangers calling themselves agents into the house without checking their badges first.”

While he didn’t smile, Agent Fury seemed more than agreeable to his demand and flashed him a familiar badge he’d seen Peggy use. After inspecting the two badges much longer than necessary, he stepped aside to allow the two agents inside. They quietly followed him to the sitting room, then preceded to stand stiffly in the middle of the room. He dropped lazily onto the chair closest to a side table with a gun hidden in a book resting on top of it.

“So, why is it my aunt sent you here?”

“Your aunt received a report in the early hours of this morning that she is currently looking into.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“It involves your parents. A pedestrian found their car wrecked on the side of the road early this morning and notified the authorities. I’m sorry to tell you this, but neither of them survived the crash.”

His entire body went numb, but he refused to show any weakness in front of these strangers. “What happened?”

“It appears the car veered off the road and struck a tree.”

“No other people were involved?”

“Not anyone that stuck around.”

“Aunt Peggy thinks that someone else was involved?”

“She’s looking into that possibility. If someone was, she wanted to be sure they didn’t go after you next.”

“Does that mean the two of you are sticking around to play nanny?”

“Until your aunt is sure you’re not in danger.”

“I’ll be in my workshop.” Despite the numbness, he managed to rise from his chair without ending up flat on his face and crossed the room without incident. “You can secure the perimeter, or whatever it is the two of you are paid to do. Don’t bother me.”

Somehow, he managed to hold the tears in until he was in the safety of his workshop.

* * *

**1993**

The jukebox in the corner of the bar played a familiar song to accompany the clinking of glasses against tabletops and pool balls smacking into one another. After tipping back the rest of his drink, he returned his attention to the stack of papers Obie forced into his hands before he left the office. While he didn’t particularly care for the business side of SI, he knew doing the bare minimum to keep Obie off his back was for the best. As long as he completed the few things passed along to him, he got to continue focusing most of his attention on his inventions.

A hand landing on his shoulder startled him out of the needlessly jargon heavy contract detailing a potential partnership opportunity between SI and Hammer Industries. With a heavy sigh, he tore his eyes away from the pages to find a tipsy blonde leaning against the bar next to him. At some point during the night, she must have decided to get rid of her normal brown bomber jacket in favor of a thin cotton t-shirt. Carol ordered two more drinks and slid one over to him after the bartender set them down in front of her.

“What’s the point of coming out if you’re going to work all night?”

“Getting the chance to annoy you while I suffer through this garbage.”

“I shouldn’t have told Rhodey I’d look out for you. You’re too much trouble.”

“It’s not my fault you can’t handle me, Danvers.”

“Sure.” The eye roll Carol sent him didn’t stop him from returning his attention back to the contract. “Seriously? Put the legal documents away and have a little fun tonight.”

“What should I do? Con people at pool or do karaoke?”

“While I didn’t teach you those skills for nothing, you’ve got a third option down the bar that’s been sneaking glances at you all night.”

“How would you know?”

“Did you really think I haven’t been keeping an eye on you?”

“Creepy.”

“Have fun, but don’t get into any trouble.”

“Shouldn’t I be telling you that?”

Another pat on the shoulder was the only response he got before Carol went back to the pool tables with her drink in hand. After taking a sip of his new drink, he packed away the stack of papers since he wouldn't be able to focus on the words now Carol successfully distracted him. His next sip allowed him to take a few moments to get a good look at the man seated at the end of the bar. Their eyes locked for a flash of a second, then the man quickly averted his gaze to the worn bar top.

The strap of his bag dug uncomfortably into his shoulder as he hopped off his bar stool to take a seat next to the man. His head turned slightly to the side to peek out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't say a single word. Shoulder length dark hair obscured most of his face when his head tipped down to avoid any further eye contact. Despite being ignored, he dropped his bag on the grimy floor and settled in for at least one more drink.

It took finishing the drink Carol bought him and half of another one for the man to finally do more than sneak a tentative glance his way. A gruff baritone broke the silence between them so softly it would've been easy to miss it if he weren't waiting for the man to speak.

“Can I help you with something?”

“I think I should be the one asking you that. If you wanted to talk, you could've joined me over there.”

“You, uh, looked busy with your papers.”

“How polite of you not to interrupt me.” A nervous finger tapped against the bar in a strangely familiar rhythm he couldn't quite place. “Well, I'm no longer busy and I'm sitting right here. Now's your opportunity.”

“I'm not really one to take an opportunity like that.”

“Why is that?”

A moment of hesitation made it seem like he might not answer, then he continued like he never paused. “My job doesn't let me stay in one place for long. It seems… pointless to take that kind of opportunity.”

“That sounds very lonely. It's not like it has to be a lasting thing-or more than something that lasts the night. It's not the forties. People do that type of thing now."

“I'm not really a one-night kind of guy.”

“Hmm…” He got off his chair and grabbed his bag from the floor before heading for the door. 

“Aren't you going to finish your drink?”

“Nope. I'm starving, so I'm going to go get some shitty pizza. Feel free to join me-if you actually want to have a fun night for once.”

“What makes you think I don't have fun?”

“Just a hunch. Prove me wrong.”

* * *

He couldn’t be sure why he got the sudden urge to get out of the mansion and take a long walk along the beach, but he wanted to thank his past self when he noticed a familiar person. Despite the mild temperatures, he wore a long sleeve shirt and a pair of ratty jeans with worn combat boots. It made for an odd picture among the sand and waves, not that it stopped him from crossing the distance between them to stand next to him. The moonlight cast a soft glow across his face that softened some of the weariness around his eyes.

“What’s a handsome man like you doing in a place like this?”

“Wanted a quiet place to think.” His eyes remained locked on the water, but some of the stiffness in his shoulders loosened up. “I didn't expect anyone else to be out here.”

“Because of the private beach sign? As the owner of this beach, I can understand why you'd think that.”

“I didn't realize you owned a beach.”

“Only part of the beach and it was passed down to me, so it's not like I bought it because I wanted some beachy alone time.”

“That makes much more sense.”

“What can I say? My father was a man of expensive taste. He was found of flaunting his wealth. It made him feel like the biggest person in the room.”

“Doesn’t sound like you liked him very much.”

He chuckled under his breath at the simple statement of fact without a single hint of disbelief. “I don’t think getting into my daddy issues is an appropriate conversation to have with someone I met once. That’s a drunk night conversation at the very least.”

“Sorry. Didn’t bring any alcohol with me.”

“What a shame. Guess we’ll have to talk about that some other night.”

“I didn’t think we would ever see each other again.”

“Neither did I, then you trespassed on my private beach the one night I decided to go on a midnight stroll. Funny how things work out.”

“Are you saying we were destined to meet again?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t believe in fate. I believe in science and facts. We didn’t plan on ever seeing each other again, and here we are. It’s either an anomaly or the beginning of an unexpected pattern. The only way to know is to wait for future variables to fall into place.”

“Or, we could decide to meet again.”

“I thought you didn’t see the point in getting close to people because you have to travel all the time.”

“That’s true, but I thought about what you said.”

“And came to the same conclusion everyone else does?”

“If that’s what you want to believe, sure.” After playfully shoving at his arm, the other man continued to speak. “Even though I’ve been traveling, I keep finding myself coming back here. It doesn’t seem like the worst idea to have someone to spend time with while I’m here.”

“That’s probably the first time someone hasn’t considered spending time with me their worst idea.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“So do I! I’m wonderful company.”

“You are.”

“Finally! I knew someone would agree with me eventually.”

“What about your friend at the bar? I’m sure she thinks you’re wonderful company.”

“Carol spends time with me because Rhodey told her to babysit me while he’s gone. She’s doing it as a favor to him.”

“Doubtful, but what about Rhodey? He obviously cares about you.”

“Rhodey’s a stick in the mud. He never wants to do anything fun.”

“Fun or dangerous?”

“Well, it was fun getting some fresh air, but I didn’t come out here to have my character attacked. I’ll be heading back inside now because no one will question my word there.”

“That sounds concerning.”

The urge to bend down to grab a fistful of sand that he could cram down the man’s pants barely got suppressed by the knowledge he wanted to spend time together again in the future. “Enjoy the rest of your night, and have fun getting the sand out of your boots.”

“Bucky.”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s my name. I figured you should know, since we’ll be seeing each other again.”

“I’m Tony. Make sure you remember that. I’ll be disappointed if you don’t.”

“I will.”

* * *

“What do you mean you’ve never seen Star Wars? It’s a classic!”

“It came out twenty years ago. How can it be a classic?”

“It’s more like fifteen, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a classic! Everyone should watch it at least once. It’s a crucial addition to the sci-fi genre, like Star Trek.”

“Like what?”

After taking a few moments to study Bucky’s face, he let out a disbelieving groan at the honest confusion etched upon his face. “Unbelievable. Have you been living under a rock for your entire life?”

“Something like that.”

“We’re going to have to change that, but it can wait. I’ve got something else planned for today.”

“How can you have something else planned for today? You didn’t know I was coming.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t have plans. Not everything revolves around you, especially when you go disappearing off for weeks at a time.” Without further questioning, his shadow for the day followed behind him as he collected his things and headed for the garage to pick out a car for the day. “I still go on with planning things and having a life, and today I have something really excited planned. Since you’re here, guess you’ll just have to tag along. Let’s see, we’ll take… the Jeep!”

“All these fancy cars, and we’re taking a Jeep?”

“That a problem?”

“No, just didn’t expect you to pick something so… mundane. Most of the options in here are on the flashy side.”

“Well, we’ve got a bit of a drive that involves some off-roading. As a mechanic, I’m picking the right vehicle for the job. Now, get in or I’ll leave you behind.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, but can I know where we’re going?”

“Why would I ruin the fun?”

The wind whipped through his hair as he gunned it out of the driveway onto the long stretch of highway outside the front gate. While Obie hadn’t been happy about his decision to take the day off for a “pet project,” all the negativity went out the window as he sped down the curving roads to the base. He’d been more than a little surprised when Carol reached out to him with an offer from Dr. Wendy Lawson. Getting the chance to work on a project that didn’t deal with weapons felt so refreshing, he ended up digging back into a few old projects that didn’t relate to any of his Stark Industries work in his free time.

When he finally pulled onto the dirt road that lead to the base, his excitement brought a smile to his face that remained there as he talked with the security guard at the gate. They were quickly let in and directed to the proper hanger where he pulled up next to Carol’s car. The pilot leaned casually against her car with her arms crossed and her aviators covering her eyes.

“What do you think this is? Top Gun?”

“Does that make you Goose?”

“Absolutely not, I’m more of a Charlie.”

“Iceman is more like it, but we don’t have time to argue about it. Dr. Lawson is waiting for you. Let’s get a move on.”

As he moved to follow, a hand gently tugged on the back of his shirt to get his attention. “Should I be here?”

“You’re really worrying about that now?”

“I could wait in the car.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We have science to do.”

“I’m not much of a scientist.”

“If you two are done gossiping, we have work to do.” Despite the distance between them, Carol’s strides grew longer and faster as she headed for a door with a code lock. “We’re not going to wait around all day for you.”

“Hurry up! I’m not missing this!”

* * *

Sunlight streamed through the living room windows, but he couldn’t convince himself to get up and start the day. The arm keeping him pressed against a warm chest and the soft puffs of air against the top of his head made him feel more comfortable than he’d been in a long time. Between the death of his parents and Rhodey being gone on duty, most of his time was spent alone in his workshop. Obie popped in from time to time as did the new assistant and Carol, but they all had their own work and lives to focus on. It made the last year lonelier than he would admit.

His comfort nearly came to an end as the person behind him attempted to shift into a more comfortable position almost causing him to fall off the couch in the process. A hand grabbed onto his shoulder before he tumbled off, then hovered between him and a potential fall as he shifted around to be chest to chest. He rested his chin on his hand to look down at the man beneath him, who still appeared to be sleeping. After considering his options, he reached out to poke his nose, only for his hand to get snatched out of the air.

“Why are you awake?”

“Don’t sound so accusatory. You’re partly to blame. You nearly dumped me off the couch.”

“It was your decision to sleep on the couch.”

“My decision?” Even though he could’ve held on, a little jerk was all it took to get his hand free to point a finger at Bucky. “We both feel asleep on the couch last night and even if I did fall asleep first, you could’ve woken me up to go to bed. You thought you could finish the movie and ended up falling asleep too.”

“If you say so.”

“Well, I guess I’m just making breakfast for myself. I’m thinking lots of eggs and bacon and hash browns and maybe some toast with the new jelly I bought.”

Before he could do more than set one foot on the ground, arms tightened around him to tug him back to Bucky’s chest, then flipped their positions. Their chests remained pressed together as Bucky shifted so his elbows bracketed his head allowing his arms to take most of his weight. The slight grinding of his arm plates against each other distracted him from what he’d been about to say on his new predicament.

“I know you want to stay mysterious about the whole metal arm thing, but when are you going to let me fix it? One of these days, it’s going to jam, and you’ll have a useless hunk of metal hanging from your arm.”

“My arm is fine.”

“As a mechanic, it literally pains me to hear you say that. I have cars older than you that sound better than your arm does. It’s an absolute travesty. Nothing mechanical should ever sound that way. At least take better care of it.”

“I do take care of it.”

“Good.” A little shove to his chest was all it took to get Bucky to move so he could get out from under him. “Now, I am going to get breakfast ready. Feel free to join me. I wouldn’t say no to a helping hand.”

“You know I’m going to help because you’re a terrible cook.”

“I’m hurt, Bucky. Really hurt.”

* * *

“I have a good one.”

After catching the ice cream threatening to melt down his hand, Bucky stared at him in contemplation for a few seconds. “Let’s hear it.”

“If you got the chance to go to space, would you and why?”

“That is a very complex question.”

“It’s space!”

“Which is equal parts interesting and fascinating!”

“Are you serious?” His ice cream nearly went flying when he swung his arm dramatically to emphasize his point, but that didn’t distract him from the important point to be made. “There’s so much to explore in space and you’re not sure whether you’d go to space if you got the chance? Aliens, exotic new worlds, undiscovered possibilities!”

“That doesn’t mean discovering those things would be a good thing. You’ve shown me Alien. I now know how horribly space travel could go wrong, so I think it’s understandable that I’m a little hesitant about traversing space.”

“You’re really going to let the slight possibility of a horrific death stop you from seeing what exists beyond the boundaries of our tiny planet? That’s very shortsighted of you.”

“Well, when you put it like that, I can’t imagine why I would hesitate to get blasted into the unknown.”

“It’s a real mystery to me.”

“I have a good question.”

The slight smirk toying on the corners of Bucky’s lips caused him to hesitate slightly before responding. “Go ahead.”

“You have a lot of money and influence, right?”

“That’s a good question? I feel like there are plenty of other questions you could’ve asked that would have been good questions. I’m kind of disappointed in you. I thought you’d give me something to think about.”

“Are you done?”

“I feel like you know the answer to that question as well. The sound of my own voice is one of my favorite things.”

“Sure it is. Are you ready for the actual question?”

“I don’t know why it took you so long to get to it, but sure. I’ll answer the question.”

“Why don’t you put your money and influence into sending yourself into space?”

“Rich people never do the dirty work.” When Bucky stared at him with an unimpressed expression, he let out a heavy sigh as he kept his eyes focused on the street ahead of them. “If I were to do that, I wouldn’t be able to run the company. People rely on me. People with husbands and wives and kids. People that others rely on to live. As much as I want to, I can’t go disappearing off into space to explore the unknown.”

“Don’t you have a business partner that could run things while you’re gone?”

“Obie is… It’s not that he doesn’t care about people, but his area of expertise is on the selling side. He’s good at getting partnerships and contracts. The employee’s side of it isn’t something he pays much mind to.”

“Then I guess I’d have to accept if I got offered the chance to explore space.”

“Why is that?”

“If you can’t do it yourself, I’ll do it for you. But, you’ll have to live with the knowledge it’s your fault I’m dead if something kills me.”

He couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled out of him at how serious Bucky sounded. “I think I could handle that. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I’m not going out of my way to end up in space. I still think space is mildly terrifying.”

“Even if you never go, I’m still grateful that you would offer to do that for me. Not many people would.”

* * *

“What are you doing with that thing?” An inquisitive metal finger poked at his latest project without any concern for potential injury. “Is it part of that new project you’ve been working on for SI?”

“Do you even know what you’re putting your finger on? For all you know, it could be the blow-up button.”

“There’s nothing on this device that could cause it to explode.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’m familiar with objects that explode.”

“If you say so.”

Without looking up, he could feel the eyeroll directed at him for the exaggerated disbelief in his voice. “Are you going to tell me what you’re doing or not?”

“Where’s the fun in giving away the surprise?”

“If I have some idea what you’re doing, we might be able to have a conversation about it.”

“We can have a conversation about a lot of things that wouldn’t ruin the surprise.”

“You’re being unnecessarily difficult.”

“Counterpoint, I’m being just the right amount to stall you.” A sharp snap punctuated his words when he closed the latches on the small upgrade unit. “Don’t think I forgot that you’re a fan of robots. Want to meet a couple?”

“A couple as in more than one?”

“Did you really think I’d stop at one robot? Robots need friends too.”

“How many are we talking about?”

“Two.”

“Two?”

A slow smile spread across Bucky’s face that he was ninety-nine percent sure translated to the same level of glee as a child on Christmas. He didn’t even have to say anything to get Bucky to follow him to the docking stations hidden in the far corner of the workshop. Nearly silent footsteps echoed his own, then came to a stop by his side. Not a word was said throughout the installation process, but he could feel the excitement growing in the man next to him.

As soon as he straightened back up, a light hand wrapped around his elbow and gave a soft squeeze. “What now?”

“Now, we wake them up.”

“How do we do that?”

“You could start by introducing yourself.”

“Are you trying to mess with me or will introducing myself actually do something?”

“Introduce yourself.”

“Uh, okay then.” Bucky shifted uncertainly from one foot to the other, then straightened up to his full height with determination. “Hello. I’m Bucky. It’s nice to meet you.”

A soft beeping answered his words as Dum-E lifted up to get claw to face with the new human standing before him. The briefest of glances out of the corner of his eye was all he needed to see the pure joy written plainly on Bucky’s face. His metal hand tentatively reached out to touch the claw causing it to open in response to the touch.

“You made this robot?”

“Yes, he was my first one. This is Dum-E and that’s U. They might not speak like in most of the books and movies, but they’ve got a lot of personality.”

“They’re incredible!”

“Wait until I tell you what I’ve been working on in my free time.”

“Something better than two robots?”

“That depends on if you think artificial intelligence is better than two robots.”

“Really?” Bucky’s eyes lit up in excitement and his head snapped to look at him. “You’re creating an AI? How long have you been working on that?”

“I’m not sure. What I’m fairly sure of is I’ll be finished with it by the time you get back from your next trip.”

“That’s amazing, Tony. Absolutely amazing.”

“You can say that again if you’d like.”

“How about you tell me more about this artificial intelligence and I’ll give you plenty of compliments while you do it?”

“Square deal.”

* * *

Steam from his shower swirled around the bathroom as he went about toweling himself off and preparing for bed. The hot water had been a godsent after a day spent covered in oil and grease and grime. His assistant had been less than pleased to drop by nearing six in the evening to find him neck deep in a project when he was so behind on paperwork, which meant a night of boring work. Once he pushed the last of the paperwork into her hands and shut the door behind her, he immediately headed for a long shower to wash the day off him.

With a sigh, he wiped away some of the fog clouding up the mirror to make sure he hadn’t missed any grease on his face. After checking a few angles to be sure, he tossed the towel away in favor of a brush to run through his messy hair. A few useless pulls through his hair later, he tossed the brush to the countertop on his way out of the bathroom. His plans to crawl into bed for a night’s rest went out the window at the sight of someone perched on the edge of the mattress facing the bathroom.

The soft glow filtering around him from the bathroom provided the only light in the otherwise dark room making it difficult to see the person’s face from a distance. A curtain of hair falling around their face and a glint of light off their left hand allowed his racing heart to calm some. Several tentative steps forward didn’t illicit any movement or sign of acknowledgement from the man sitting on his bed. When he came to a stop in front of him, he let his hand hover uncertainly in the air between them.

“Bucky? What are you doing here? Did something happen?” A tense silence filled the air between them causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. “Is… I’m not sure what to do. How can I help?”

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

“I’m listening.”

Silence dragged on once again, then a gruff voice broke it. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me. I’ve done many things that I’m not proud of, and the memory of those things have been coming back to me recently. So many of those things I’ve done my best to let go, but that’s something I remembered that I can’t… I can’t let go.”

“I don’t understand. You got amnesia and you’ve begun remembering things you’ve done. Is that what’s happening?”

“How much do you know about what your father did?”

“What?” The mention of his father caught him off guard, especially since Bucky never brought up his parents before. “What does my father have to do with it?”

“The pieces have started to fit together. My memories are a jumble of moments that I didn’t understand, but now I’m beginning to make sense of them. I remember living in New York and leaving for the war. I remember being experimented on, a man with a red skull for a face, joining a group trying to stop him. Your father was there. He made weapons and flew planes, but I forgot him when I fell off the train.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“HYDRA found me and turned me into… I killed so many people for them. Anyone that they wanted to go away, they sent me after them and I did what I was told. They’ve been shaping history for years without anyone knowing, not even S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“I don’t know what HYDRA or S.H.I.E.L.D. are, and what do they have to do with my father?”

“He helped found S.H.I.E.L.D. and knew too much. They wanted him gone.”

“HYDRA wanted him gone?”

“Yes. He was getting too close and they needed to stop him. They had to stop him.”

For the first time, Bucky lifted his head to reveal tears spilling from his eyes and leaving a wet trail down his cheeks. Despite his confusion, he brought his hands up to cup the sides of his face to wipe away some of the tears. His eyes were full of pain and sorrow that had filled his words as he struggled to explain something he still didn’t understand.

“Bucky, I’m sorry. I-”

“You shouldn’t be sorry. I’m the one that should be sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“HYDRA wanted him killed, so they sent me. They always sent me.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that you murdered my father?”

“Yes.”

The feeling of tears welling in his eyes built until they spilled freely from them. “And my mother. Did you murder her as well?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t…” His hands slipped away as he took a huge step back from him with anger slowly replacing the confusion. “So, this HYDRA told you murder a bunch of people, including my parents, and you did it for some reason. You’ve only just remembered this, so you decided to come here to tell me about it.”

“You needed to know.”

“Is there anything else you feel the need to tell me? Maybe where you disappear off to for months at a time. I can only assume it has something to do with murdering people.”

“I’ve been working to stop HYDRA.”

“Right, HYDRA. How exactly did you get away from them after you killed my parents? I doubt they just let you go.”

Bucky’s entire body went slack like the stings holding him up were suddenly cut. “I don’t remember.”

“Of course, you don’t. You just killed a bunch of people for an evil organization that took you after you fell from a train. That makes perfect sense. I think… I think I need time to think about all of this. This is…”

“Tony, I’m sorry.”

“Please, just leave.”

* * *

The sound of the door shutting behind him sounded like a gunshot going off as he slipped into an office he’d been to many times before. Obadiah had always been willing to let him spend time in his office when his own father wanted nothing to do with him. Now, the office didn’t seem like the inviting safe haven he previously saw it as.

In the weeks since he’d last seen Bucky, much of his time and energy went into researching HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. and making calls to his father’s friends. The further he delved down the rabbit hole the more horrifying and complicated the truth began with his father’s role in things slowly coming to light. His fury at his father for getting his mother mixed up in the whole mess faded when he discovered something that had been hard to believe. In his disbelief, he searched desperately for some other explanation only for it all to lead to the same place.

After taking a deep breath to steady himself, he quickly crossed the room to the large desk taking up a majority of the space. Without much trouble, the lock to the drawers gave way allowing him to search through them all. Nothing he found belayed any sort of communication with HYDRA or any other organization associated with them. His attention moved to the computer sitting tauntingly on the desk.

It took almost no time at all to get through the password meant to keep other people from being able to access it. His knee bounced nervously as he searched through the files for something that would confirm what he was fairly sure he already knew. A few tense minutes later an unexpected file caught his attention that included several correspondences between him and a name he’d seen several times when looking into HYDRA. He inserted the USB he brought with him to transfer any evidence onto and stared at the slowly filling percentage bar.

The doorknob twisting sent his heartrate skyrocketing and he watched the door push open to reveal a familiar figure. His assistant came to an immediate halt at the sight of him sitting behind the desk, then clicked the door shut behind her. The sound of her heels clicking against the floor put him even further on edge. When she came to a stop in front of the desk, she crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

“No. Thank you, Miss. Potts. I think I got what I needed.”

“Are you sure? You seem… distressed.”

He removed the USB from the computer as he rose from the chair and stepped out from behind the desk. “I’m fine. Was there something you needed?”

“Mr. Stane sent me to get something for him.”

“Obie is here?”

“Yes. He returned from his trip early.”

“Do you know why?”

“He mentioned that something came up that required his attention but didn’t say what.” After retrieving a stack of papers from the desk, Pepper fell into step next to him. “He’s in conference room A if you’re looking for him.”

“Can you make sure he doesn’t leave the conference room?”

“I believe he has a meeting scheduled for the next few hours. Is there some reason you need him to stay?”

“It’s a bit unbelievable.”

“If you need me to keep him in there, then I will.”

“Excellent. Why haven’t I promoted you?”

“No idea.”

“Well, a position is about to open up and I think you’ll be perfect for the job.”

“Get me the contract and I’ll consider it.”

“Deal.”

* * *

While it hadn’t been easy to find the former Winter Solider, having many contacts had a few perks that allowed him to find him after a few weeks of searching. Finding a way into his room without getting noticed took more effort than he would like to admit but was worth it in the end. When the door opened a few hours later, Bucky stopped uncertainly in the doorway with his eyes wide in surprise. After closing the door behind him, he dropped his bag on the floor with a heavy thud, then took a spot leaning against the desk.

“Did you see the news? I’d be surprised if you didn’t. People have been talking about it for weeks.”

“I did. It put you on HYDRA’s radar.”

“From what I’ve heard, I’ve been on their radar for a while. According to my Aunt Peggy, her agents have been able to turn up a lot of information on what HYDRA’s been up to since I told her about them still being around. She was also able to get me a lot of information about the Winter Soldier.”

“Is that so?”

He rose from the bed to cross the room and stand in front of Bucky, who kept glancing away from him. “The things they did to you were horrible and I have a pretty good idea why you’ve had memory problems. I’ve put together a fairly accurate timeline if you’re interested in putting your past together. It’s not pleasant, but it might bring you some… I don’t think peace is the right word but something along those lines.”

“After everything you’ve read, you thought it was a good idea to come here alone?”

“I’ve been alone with you many times and you’ve never done anything. I don’t think that’s going to change.”

“It didn’t seem like you wanted anything to do with me the last time we talked.”

“The last time we talked I didn’t have all the information I have now.” His hand reached out to gently cup the side of Bucky’s face like he had the last night they saw each other. “What they did to you was beyond horrible. How the brain works isn’t my area of expertise, but I know what they did to you took away a lot of who you were and forced you to do what they wanted. You told me that you murdered my parents and now I know that isn’t true. You’re as much a victim of HYDRA as they were.”

“My hands were the ones that killed them. I remember exactly how I did it. How can you stand here and tell me that I’m a victim?”

“HYDRA took your will away from you, whether you see it that way or not, they did. Whatever they made you do is on them, not on you. I know it’s hard to see it that way, but that’s part of healing.”

Bucky’s let out a heavy sigh, then placed a gentle hand on his waist. “I want to believe you, but it’s hard to imagine myself as an innocent with everything I’ve done.”

“Well, we will just have to work on that.”

“We?”

“Did you think I came all the way to this shitty motel to tell you all this and never see you again? Get your stuff. We’re going back to the mansion. I’m surprised you haven’t gotten a disease from this place yet.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He pushed up to press a kiss to one of his cheeks and gave him a wink when he pulled away. “I’ll be in the car. Don’t take too long or I’ll leave you here.”

“I see you haven’t learned any patience.”

“What would be the point of that?”

“It’s good to see you again, Tony.”

“I know. It’s good to see you again, too.”

* * *

**2012**

Every muscle in his body ached from the pain of going through a helicarrier turbine and a portal to space. The past few days had been a blur of unexpected events that included meeting the man his father kept on a pedestal. While their initial meeting didn’t go well, he began to understand why so many people looked up to the man. In the end, he put his trust in Steve to lead the team and couldn’t say he was disappointed with the results.

As soon as the elevator door opened, he stepped into the room he’d been in only a few hours earlier to apprehend Loki. A man leaned against the bar with two glasses in his hands and an expectant look on his face. The liquor burned nicely on the way down and settled some of the nerves still humming from the adrenaline of battle. He mirrored the man’s position against the bar as he set the now empty glass down.

“I didn’t realize you were in the city.”

“When I see reports of a portal opening over New York with a bunch of aliens coming through it, I decide to drop what I’m doing to check on my partner that lives there. I saw some of the battle. It looked...”

“Horrible?”

“That’s a good word for it.”

“It definitely wasn’t pleasant. Did you see anything else on the news?”

Bucky tapped his finger against the counter-a nervous habit that he’d never been able to stop. “I’m assuming you’re referring to Steve.”

“I didn’t tell him about you if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I didn’t think you did. I’m just not sure what to do about it. For him, everything that happened back then is fresh, but it’s been years for me. How do you even begin to handle that?”

“No idea, but we’re pretty good at figuring these things out together. At least, I like to think we are.”

“We are.” A pair of lips captured his in a kiss that allowed him to relax for the first time all day. “I think that’s a problem for tomorrow.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos always greatly appreciated. You can find me on Tumblr ([SociallyAwkwardFoxWriter](http://sociallyawkwardfoxwriter.tumblr.com/)).


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